Tuesday, January 27, 2015

my hillbilly, faded genes




      Well, butter my butt and call me biscuit! That's right, y'all. I am part hillbilly & proud. My paternal grandparents are as authentic as they come. Not to be confused with rednecks or white trash, I'm talking hillbillies, born & raised in Olive Hill, Kentucky. After gettin' hitched at a young age, they loaded up their truck and moved to Ohio, where they done raised 5 youngins. Fittingly, they now live in a log cabin in North Carolina.
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    If you are familiar with the hillybilly ways, breakfast is church and the more fixin's, animal fats & processed meats brought to the table, the better. So, when our kin are in town, the age ol' debate rolls around in the morning, "+Cracker Barrel Old Country Store (CB) or Bob Evan's"

    Me?  I would prefer EggsRUs in Crafton, Kelly O's in the Strip or Pamela's in Shadyside. But that's not one of my options today. Food? I want a veggie, egg white omelet, no fried taters or pork products. Not so hillybilly-like.

     Well, kiss my grits and call me breakfast! While both menu's boast similar country themed breakfast fair at their locality, CB does not make omelets.  But BobE's offers "Stuffed 3-Egg Omelets". BobE's gives me a purty good egg white omelet:  The Farm Favorite with baby spinach, a heapin'  helpin' of roasted portabellos, onions, Swiss cheese & tomatoes.



Here's a few other things CB does not have:

  CB does not have a easy way to get to the hostess stand. They prefer to make customers plow through their over-stocked, over-crowded & over-priced General nonsense Store. BobE's simple set-up is stress free.

  CB does not have WiFi because the restaurant chain does not want their "guests" to "linger". BobE's hospitality includes WiFi.

  CB does not have authentic country roots. CB started as an oil salesman's scheme to lure travelers off of highways to increase gas sales. BobE really was born & raised down on the farm where he started making his own sausage.

  CB does not really like their patrons. Why else would they put a seemingly innocent child's game to play on all of their tables that not only frustrates, but silently calls their patrons "dumb" & "eg-no-ra-mooses"?

  CB does not have a great history with the LGBT community. BobE's is quite accepting of others' sexual orientation as evidenced in his kid's menu's gender neutral mascot, Chuck the Chick.

 
 
 
y'all come back now, ya hear?!
 
 
 
 
 
 
Bob Evans Restaurant on Urbanspoon