Friday, March 28, 2014

Dear Deer Diet

     My mother always calls me "dear". So, what? That's a normal, sweet motherly thing to do. But the other day she actually called me a DEER.....Yes.....She said I remind her of a deer.

    After being startled by what I thought was an insult, my first instinct was to flee but instead I remained still. MD went on to explain that her comment was meant as a compliment.

    " But, dear," she said," a deer is a beautiful and graceful creature. Think about it. They have a lithe body, long legs and a cute, small head. Your fur, I mean, hair is similar in color, shiny and smooth. You love to run. And, look at your plate, dear,.... you eat like a deer."
    Hmmmmm...I also have hit my share of cars and I do try to avoid most, other than the small head thing, maybe she has a point. And, maybe, it's not such a bad thing that my doppelganger is a doe.
    As I sat there grazing on my plate of undressed spring greens, mushrooms, blueberries, blackberries and nuts, perhaps MD is onto something here. Could eating like a deer make one deer-like?

    Could  I buck the crazy fad diet trends out there, like the Paleo Diet(eat like a caveman), the Baby Food Diet(self-explanatory), the Werewolf Diet (based on the cycles of the moon) and cash in on a get-slim-quick scheme with  The Deer Diet & Doe-tox ?

The Deer Diet & Doe-tox
   *trademark pending
   *book currently in pre-production
   *my fav shark, +Mark Cuban is considering investing
   *not a +Dr. Oz recommended diet
   *not associated with +The Biggest Loser 
   *not recommended for students at +Mt Lebanon School District  or residents of Mt. Lebanon

+Bravo  +Andy Cohen +Pittsburgh Post-Gazette +Pittsburgh City Paper +WHIRL Magazine +Maniac Magazine +Pittsburgh Tribune-Review & +Pittsburgh Magazine