Thursday, February 20, 2014

mani-curious: confessions of a phalangerer


modcloth.com
 Over the holidays, Mother Dear & I went through a box of old pictures and papers from my Catholic grade school. That's where I came across The Pamphlet .....the one that had been handed out to all of the girls in my 5th grade class. It was faded & missing some pages. I glanced through it and then wondered to myself, " Is there something wrong with me?" Which caused me to......as old habits tend to do .....confess that....I'm 21 and I've never had a manicure. (Well, not at that time, so keep reading.)

     From The Pamphlet:
               Getting a manicure is a natural part of being a woman.  A girl's first manicure signals she is growing up. The average age is 12, but every girl has her own schedule. Having a manicure is a sign of normal growth and development into a woman.

    During a recent shopping trip to the mall with Mother Dearest, I decided to tell her. It was very  embarrassing to admit to her but she assured me that it was okay. I was curious as to why females seemed to love getting their manicures. So, at that moment, it was decided that I should have my first manicure right there in The Mall at Robinson.

     From The Pamphlet:
                It's normal to be a little nervous about your first manicure. Especially when manicures are new to a girl, it can be tough to know what's normal and what's not.

     We found Avalon Lifestyles Nails & Spa located on the lower level of the mall near Macy's. I took one look and I knew I didn't want one....ever. The providers of service were all wearing masks.... like they were committing a crime.  MD wrote my name on the waiting list and told me not to worry as she headed off to +Starbucks Coffee for an iced green tea. 

     5 minutes later, instead of calling my name, I guess at the mall, a masked man approaches you and then acts very angry when you don't understand his muffled commands. I tried to explain that this was my first time but he just ignored me and pointed to where I should go. Most of my experience was a blur..... probably from all of the fumes ( Is that why they don't give their victims clients a mask?) I could tell he was getting increasingly irritated with me because I didn't know the routine & I couldn't understand him......not my fault, guy, your English sucks & you are wearing a mask....oh, and did I mention that this is my first time?  You're a Meanie-curist!!

     Anywhoo, I heard something about $15. I handed him the money and he disappeared into the back room.....leaving me sitting there.....for awhile.  No thank you, no instructions, no nothing* ( definitely no tip ). I eventually got up & scooted out of there as fast I could. I took refuge in Macy's and looked at my hands. They looked worse than they ever have....ever....I swear to you.  My nails were uneven and my cuticles were red & swollen. (Within a week, the polish was peeling off.)  When I got home, The Pamphlet went back in the box.
 
     Could it have been his first time, too?  Did he really even work there? Regardless, he should not be allowed near hands & feet or open flames. Unfortunately, due to the mask, I will not be able to ID him.
 
 


  I take pride in how I look & I take good care of myself, including my digits. I have on occasion bit or picked a 'scratchy' nail. I keep my nails short & I don't wear tips or color
polish. I like to keep it straight-up simple.



    The manicure lifestyle is just not for me. (at least not at Avalon Lifestyles Nails & Spa)











 


  +Starbucks Coffee +Starbucks Gourmet +Bravo +Andy Cohen +Pittsburgh City Paper +WHIRL Magazine